How to Solve Family Problems – Solutions for Toxic Relatives

How to Solve Family Problems – Solutions for Toxic Relatives Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen, creator of Quips and Tips


Knowing how to solve family problems is the best way to achieve your goals! These solutions for toxic relatives will help you solve family problems. But you must remember that the right solutions to life’s problems are different for everybody…and finding the right solutions may require trying different things until you find what works for you!

Before the tips, a quip:

“Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” ~ Charles Schulz.

You may not know what gears you aren’t using – which explains why you aren’t using them! To find and use the right gears (and solve family problems), read books like Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.

I love reading and listening to Cloud and Townsend – and I encourage you to give them a try. Changing how you respond to your life – including the problems you’re having with your love relationship and family – can make all the difference in the world. Another good book is Being Happy: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life.


How to Solve Family Problems – Solutions for Toxic Relatives


1. Get in-person or online counseling support. I’m not a certified counselor or life coach, and I can’t offer online counseling here. But, there are hundreds of online counselors and psychologists who can help you solve your relationship and family problems – and I suspect there are many counselors, life coaches, and psychologists in your area. You don’t need to commit to years of therapy; sometimes all you need is a session or two to give you the guidance and support you need.

2. Find a support group. I’ve recently joined a “support group” (it’s more of a book club) of women who need to set and stick to healthy boundaries. Talking with people who have similar problems and experiences is a great way to find solutions! My support group is studying the Boundaries book, and we discuss both the book and our personal life experiences. A support group can help you solve problems and make you feel less alone.

3. Look for books that address your relationship or family problem. I’m a huge fan of reading books that directly relate to what I’m going through! My husband and I are dealing with infertility, and so we both read books on living a childless life. My mom is mentally ill, so I’ve read a ton of literature on how schizophrenia affects family life – and I even got a degree in Psychology! If you need to solve family problems, go to the library and look for the right books.

4. Remove yourself from the situation – find ways to get unstuck. I often get comments and questions about bad breakups, unhealthy relationships, toxic parents, family problems, and other situations that I can’t provide adequate advice for. So many people say they’re “stuck”, they can’t get out, and they don’t know what to do. One possibility is to remove themselves from the situation – as difficult as it may be! That may mean letting go of someone you love because it’s a bad relationship. Or, it could mean changing the expectations you have of your loved ones. Sometimes the only solution for relationship and family problems is to take a step back and give yourself time to breathe and think. In the meantime, get in-person or online counseling help!

5. Talk to a marriage coach if you’re having relationship problems. I’ve heard nothing but good about marriage coach Mert Fertel, who helps couples rebuild unhappy relationships. If online marriage counseling doesn’t work for you, then talk to a life coach, your pastor, or even a wise trusted mentor. To solve your problems and achieve your goals, you need to find the right people who can help you!

6. Get as emotionally and physically healthy as possible – without trying to change other people. You can’t change your partners, friends, or family members. It’s futile to wish they were different or try to change them into different people. But, you can change your expectations, your responses, your attitudes, and your thoughts. And that’s where books like Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life come in! Get your mind, heart, body, and souls as physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy as possible – without worrying about trying to solve all your relationship and family problems.

utilitarianism

Desires contribute to pain in the long run give into such pleasures... "pleasure and pain always come together on a general level they come to together because things will come to an end!! "Potential loss tied to Pleasure you will have to lose"

Spiritual Progress draws Defrators

Reflections from St. Augustine:

People who change their way of life begin and begin to think about making spiritual progress also begin to suffer from the tongues of detractors.

Whoever has not yet suffered this trial has not yet made progress, and whoever is not ready to suffer it does not even endeavor to progress. -commentary on Psalm 119,3

prayer: Come to my aid, O God, the one eternal, true reality! In You there is no strife, no disorder, no change, no need, and no death; only supreme clarity, supreme permanence, supreme fullness, and supreme life.

Conflict resolution is last on agenda....

Was it egos?

"Small egos don't get in the way of solving big problems, but big egos can make solving small problems difficult."